Okay everyone, here is the longest explanation of a wedding yet. All the weddings I have been to previously were nothing like this one, since I usually only show up in time for the food and old lady dancing and skip out on the rest. This, however, was my best friend Fatim's wedding and so I made it my business to last longer throughout the event. First I went over to their house on Saturday afternoon. Many people were stopping by to bring over gifts for the bride and here you can see them all laid out in the middle of the concession. One of the first things they do for the wedding is count the gifts and note who gave her what. (also above is a picture of Fatim's hands with her henna.
This old woman who was altogether charming but had kind of a bitter beer face thing going on picked up a gift (a standard gift is 6 meters of fabric and a food bowl). All the women wear a nice outfit and sit around while they count the gifts, this video is part of that. That took way too long so I left. Fatim also left to go to the salon and get her hair done (they do it the night before because the day starts for her at about 5 am.) When I told Fatim I was leaving she said, so you're coming over tomorrow at 5 right? IN THE MORNING?! Okay come over at 7. I showed up at 9:30.
The fun was just beginning! We took lots of pictures, there was a 'professional' photographer there too and some guy filming the whole thing. I just took lots of pictures of the bride with every random person who wanted a picture with her. On the left is me and Fatim, then below is Fatim with her grandfather and her aunt.
Then Fatim with two of her other aunts and then just Fatim. Then Fatim with her mother and two of her 6 sisters. That's right Fatim has 6 sisters and 2 brothers. Fatim is the oldest so her mom was kind of melacholy throughout the day, sad and emotional that her oldest daughter is getting married. This is a big deal because Fatim has lived at home her whole life (she's 21) and will now move to Bamako which is far from Kayes and so I think her mom was sad about that. There was a lot of random crying that I didn't fully understand throughout the wedding. This however, seemed pretty clear to me.
Eventually the groom showed up and these women went around singing to everyone. They are griots and you tell them your name and they sing about you and you family (based on your last name) then you give them $2 and they go to the next person, these women are singing about me here (my name is Mariam Camara).
After her husband arrived Fatim and what I will call the wedding party, this is more literal than what we mean in America. I mean the entire party of people got in cars and followed the bride and groom to the Mayor's office where they sign the marriage certificate. It's about as close as Malian weddings come to a formal ceremony. We all loaded into cars and many people on mopeds and caravaned to the Mayor's office. They wouldn't let everyone up to see the paper signing but I managed to squeeze by. It was pretty cute, somewhat long, as Malians generally enjoy talking, then the bride and groom kissed (yes they kiss) and then they exchanged rings. I didn't know they wore rings until this ceremony. Goes to show no matter how much time you spend here there's always something new about the culture I pick up. I think the ring wearing is adapted from Christian culture so probably more young people are doing it now. I mentioned that Fatim is 21 years old, which, for city women isn't super old, but most village women, or girls rather, are married by the time they're 15 (15 is the legal age for marriage in Mali). Fatim's mother and my homologue were both married when they were 15 and their husbands were between ten and 20 years older than them. If there is anything in Mali that enfuriates me it is how women are treated. I don't care what anyone says, until women are educated and raised to a higher level they are currently kept Mali will not develop. In fact, one of the most successful programs to educate women is literally paying off their fathers to allow their daughters to complete high school. It is one of the only ways to get women through high school.
Anyway, that said, Fatim is 21 and very mature, she is, after all my best friend in mali. We think a lot alike and I couldn't be more happy for her. After the Mayor's office we got back into the cars and we left. I thought we were headed home but instead we had to stop off at 4 places and greet. The first stop was the groom's family's house. We got little juice bags and greeted and sang and danced for a bit then got back in our cars and headed to the next stop. As we were leaving the last place we looked back toward the edge of town and saw a pretty formidable looking storm coming our way.
Everyone raced inside and we sat while it rained. The rain was actually wonderful and good break for the day. We all got a little rest and it cooled everything down.
After the rain we all put on our "uniforms." Our matching fabric outfits and took pictures and ate a delicious lunch. I'm sad to say that I did not last much longer than that at the wedding. I sat for a while but the griot ladies started to sing again and I don't like the attention they give me so I took off. After I left there was dancing then the whole wedding party, mostly the young people, headed over to one of the nicer hotels in town for a big reception type thing and more dancing.
The next day I went to their house for lunch and they took me over to where Fatim was staying. After the wedding the bride and groom are supposed to stay in a room together for seven days to do you-know-what. We went over there and all the women I was with greeted the groom's family and danced for a while and blessed everyone. I went to see Fatim and got to chat with her husband for the first time. He is one of the nicest men I've met in Mali and incredibly intelligent. He grew up in France and was a paramedic there and is now trying to find work in Mali because he would rather stay here because, he says, Malians are nicer than the French. He also mentioned Barack Obama's speech in Ghana and commended him for telling Africans to get their act together. He said "Obama is right, if Malians, Africans, don't start working then we'll never get any help from Americans. It starts with us." You have no idea how refreshing it is to hear someone say something like that. Especially an educated African man who wants to stay here and has just married my best friend. Anyway, I hope this is sufficient. The wedding was amazing and even though I didn't stay for the whole thing, the 6 hours of that I did attend was fabulous!
No comments:
Post a Comment