doer? Doerr. door? Doerr. Porte? NO!

One of the hardest things to do in another language is describe something to people who have never seen it before. I have this problem when going to the tailor. Tailors tend to omit space for boobs, hips and butts in clothing, which is odd considering Mali has their fair share of curvy women. At the very least you can use your hands to explain your figure and point to body parts and use examples from other shirts, sometimes to no avail, but occasionally there's success.

In the case of creating a dog door, however, the outcome is much more unpredictable. We were getting new doors installed in Kayes because our old ones had holes and cracks that allowed too many mosquitoes into the house. I figured they could add a dog/cat door in the process. How complicated could this be?

The first try:
Me - the dog wants to come into the house, she can't open the door so make a small door here that she can go through. (i assume he's aware that we're trying to keep mosquitoes out.)

Outcome: he built a door that was hinged on the side and it had a lock (to keep out bad people, he said.) it did not swing so that if it were closed and the dog were inside she would not be able to go outside.

that's okay, i thought, i'll explain again. many drawings and hand waving gesticulations later and i am crowded by several more Malians.

the number one most irritating characteristic of Malians (and West Africans) is their need to be involved in everything. "too many chiefs not enough indians" does not translate into this culture. usually they don't ask to be involved. so, when in the market i'm trying to strap something to the back of my bike and someone comes and takes the straps out of my hands or pushes my hands or body out of the way to do it for me, i react with hostility. the busy body in question usually acts affronted and when i say that i can do it myself that stand by and talk to people about how ridiculous this notion is. then i ride away, smug.

in the case of the dog door we were only having a conversation, so each new person to arrive did not provoke rage in me. and i am experienced with these interactions so i decided to laugh instead of boil with each new voice.

one good thing about Malians is that they tend to you repeat you when you're talking. not to be annoying but to make it clear that they understand. you often end sentences with the phrase "did you hear me?" more like punctuation than anything. so when i described my wish to the door makers (blacksmiths, in this case) this is how the conversation went:

me - i want the door to swing (this word was more of a body gyration). the cat is small so the door can't be heavy. you could put mosquito netting in the middle.
person #1 - oh, i understand. talking to others. she says she wants it to swing. because the cat has to use the door too. and then we can put the lock here.
me - no, no lock. it has to go inside and outside, no lock.
person #2 - oh, i understand. she says the cat has to use it too. so we have to put mosquito netting on it. we'll put the hinges on the side.
me- NO, the hinges go on the top.
person # 3 - i know what she means, she wants the hinges on the top.
person # 4 - so, what's up, explain it to me.
me - NO, who are you?
person #1 - so you want mosquito netting, huh? there's already a mosquito net.
person # 5 - i know what she wants. she wants a swinging door with mosquito netting, that isn't heavy. you don't need to lock it.
me - YES.
now person # 5 explains it to them all and they talk for a while amongst themselves, totally ignoring me. they say the same thing over and over again, until finally i said "just go and try. if i don't like it you can fix it again. i'll pay you when i think the work is done."

upon their return, i was dismayed to find that the door is still too heavy. there is not mosquito netting and it's too small for the frame so even if it's closed mosquitoes can get around it. but it drags on the bottom of the frame and is now MORE difficult to open than it was before.

try number 3: they put in mosquito netting. (that's the picture that's above) (the other full doors are what the doors look like sans doggy door) but now they have messed with it so much that it gets stuck and is still too heavy to open.

they are supposed to come back today and try again. i swear to god.
wish me luck.

the best part is that Fili has developed a fear of the door. i was teaching her to use it and i accidentally dropped it on her head. woops. so even if we do get it right, there's no guarantee she'll even use it. wonderful.